My Resolve

theres a sudden and drastic turn of events now...



ill just leave...some words to myself...and to whoever it may concern...



i realli have strong feelings for you. realli. i do.

if i didnt have strong feelings before. i do now. after all my hardship and patience, i feel like tonight was the time it all paid off.

but no sooner had i thought my reward was given to me, i realised...it was not meant as a reward. no...

it was not a reward.

maybe...it was a reminder from God...

to remind me of my faith.

like...i thought i had it in my grasp. but it was taken away the next moment.

WHY!

because of religion.

because of God.




now i feel this...yes...i dont deserve her...not yet...ive not proven my worth and ive not been faithful to my church. im a sinner. of course i dont deserve this.

this was set like this...so that i would have to EARN my love.

because of this, i feel as if shes the one.

does anyone understand what i mean?

i feel shes the one, simply because of this obstacle. how is it that its so coincidental and sudden, all these events transpire before my eyes witout me able to control anything!

the 'reward' was shown to me. and then it was taken. as a reminder of what i would get, and what i would need to work for. do u SEE IT?!

i simply CANNOT let this go.

why?!

because i can not bring myself to leave her that way.

if she is to continue that path, HOW SAD IT WOULD BE.

it brings me great sorrow THINKING about it. how can i just let it go WHILE SHE SUFFERS.



perhaps its time for me to go back with God.