Guidance

i need a break from this bullshit.





oh btw. i went to church today. after more then an year long absence.

just so u noe, the church i go to is the Church Of The Holy Trinity.

so. i went for mass today.

and i listened to the sermon.

ok. its was quite interesting. cos it concerned me somewhat. it concerns 'laid back catholics'. in other words, catholics who dont put much affort in thier faith. yeap.

i wont go into that.

the main thing is, it was the first time i prayed i a long time as well.

well, its the first time i prayed in church for a long long time ya noe? theres a difference when ur at home praying then when ur in church praying.

cos in church, i remember what im praying about cos its realli important.

the thing i prayed for, was for God to guide her and me through this ordeal.

to correct me if im doing the wrong thing. to correct her if shes doing the wrong thing. cos i dont noe who is rite and who is wrong. even if i knew, it wouldnt help.

onli God could help me then.

GUIDE US. thats what i asked for. simple.





but today. for some reason, im damn moody cos of her.

its small things ya noe...small things gather. over time it gets so overwhelming u just wanna blow up.

seriously. i began thinking to myself. why didnt i just give her up after that first incident? i knew she was too different. and YET. somehow i still ended up here.

ying hui would have made the right choice after all. ying hui was rite after all. im too fucking nice. im too fucking forgiving.

somehow i noe...even after this i wont forget anything about her. damn. this is me.





i found myself sitting down and wondering:

is this how God wishes to guide me now? is this the way God wants to lead me?

does anyone understand what im thinking and feeling now?

if u do, tell me. i noe some close friends of mine have been responding to my situation. to these people, i thank u for your attention and audience.