Missing

Missing

shes always away.

even when shes not away, we dont have much to say.

when we do have something to say, its like it turns out interesting...in a certain unfun way.

like some kind of phantom barrier.

i think the prob is more of me rather then her. even though shes still as always sober about life in general.

my blog posts are getting more and more boring. sorry readers. hopefully its just a phase. as always.

i noe im dropping big clues as to who this lass is. but hey. if i cant put thoughts on this blog. where else can i?

i have nvr much bothered keeping my thoughts private anyways.

p.s.: i am somehow eager for comdi class now. ha. how quick things change.

Introspection

Introspection

i read my more recent past entries.

what i can deduce is:

• i talk to much crap.
• im still as indecisive as ever when it comes to love.
• im not getting any wiser.
• i might be getting stupider.
• im not focusing on work enough.

p.s.: discontentment

Birthday

in case u didnt noe, my birthday was on the 21th july.

thanx to all those who wished me happy birthday.

most of all, i wanna thank abby, doreen and rachel.

abby gave me some origami. haha. it doesnt look impressive to some but i noe that what she did took quite some effort and time. esp for the 8 sided star. thats pretty tedious to make.

doreen, i wanna thank for reminding the others about my birthday and thinking of stuff to get me. THANX!!!

rachel was the one who bought the 'im horny' shirt rite after doreen told her of my birthday. im realli touched about that.

thankfully the guys didnt fulfill thier birthday bash. i doubt i could take 17 minutes of beating, much less 17 smacks from each.

nvr thought it would be such a great day. hoho.

my onli regret is not being able to go out with abby. heh. ill make it up to u gal!

p.s.: im so grateful. for everything.

Small Things

Small Things

"It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important". This is a saying from Arthur Conan Doyle, author of the famous novels revolving about the detective Sherlock Holmes.

i heard the saying when i was but a little boy. and even at that time, i put some thought into it. i had realised, what he said was true. as a simple minded boy, i remember thinking as i looked upon canals and large drains "these railings are so simple, but yet, without them, the enviroment would be so much more dangerous".

but that was simply viewing things from the physical way of nature.

humans...also apply in that way. all our little actions, and words. like how little things annoy us most. and how the little things in life are what make it enjoyable.

anyways. this post aint about me ranting about all that stuff. go read about EQ (emotional quotient in case u dont noe) if u want to noe more.

this post is once again, about my feelings. ha.

time for some cryptic mumbo jumbo.

im not being realli bothered about it.

true...im not.

i dont look at her often in class. i dont sms her to chat. i dont call her when im bored. i dont realli think shes in my mind often.

but yet.

i look at her blog everyday. just to see if she wrote about me.

i go online late in the nite, just to see if shes there.

im always interested in her affairs.

i get worried for her when i shouldnt bother so much.

i talk to her nicer then i do others.

i find myself careful of what i say.


how contradicting.

time will tell.

p.s.: "There is nothing as deceptive as an honest fact" - Arthur Conan Doyle

Strike

Strike

ok.

for a short moment, i was kind of distracted by love once again. but today. i dunno. i think i suddenly snapped out of it.

whether its good or bad, i dunno. i often tell myself that love is something that clouds the mind. its pretty true. logic becomes second to emotion. sometimes that can lead to poor decisions.

i got out of the 'phase' when i felt that we were not compatible. there were just some stuff...that i think i just cant accept and feel comfortable with.

but then again, i think im thinking too much as usual.

dammit. go with the flow. go with flow. be natural. be natural. >_<

how come im changing my mind so fast out of nothing. its quite unbecoming of me.

i dont want my head to become my demise. again.

p.s.: dont be too quick to be sure of me.

Activity

Activity

so.

i havent updated in some time.

compared to some past posts, the time in between each update is much longer. a month each update sometimes.

but suddenly i feel like the last time ive updated is getting so long. like my blog is getting stale.

this is probrably cos of so much blog activity im experiencing now. not necessarily talking about my blog.

anyways.

life is so hectic now. assignments, projects, deadlines...

i believe i still have time to relax. in fact i sometimes just sit down and slack a little. but slacking is not a fun thing. im onli slacking cos work is so tiring. im not playing cos im too haunted by my conscience. im not sleeping cos i think i should work. relaxing has now become a stressful thing. heh.

another thing.

i no longer feel devoid of meaning anymore. i find that...theres stuff to look forward to now...either that, or i no longer have time to care about all that, but to just keep going onwards. haha. i doubt my life has become SO miserable. so i believe its cos of the people around me, and the work that spurs me on, rather then dragging my soul down. true...i hate all this work. its like a flood of activity thats drowning me. but this rush gets me alive. to get on my feet and move. and whats more, there are people there with u. to suffer and stand with friends.

is that not the best thing i could ask for. im not talking about the suffering (damned sadists). its just, having good friends each day to keep ya company. to just have fun even while working hard. surely i need not explain further with words?

im not say close to many of these friends. its quite typical in design school eh? or maybe even in the whole poly. there are practically no close friends. but i have friends, that even though not close, they respect each other and help each other. u dont need to be close to someone to enjoy urself (close i mean, share ur deep dark secrets). u just need to have someone u feel comfortable and good with. all of us respect and support each other. thats whats most important. thats what makes me feel happy. haha...i sound pretty lame. i think. oh well.

its tough not having friends to talk to when u have probs. realli tough. its like ur so alone. so all i have to say for those u feel that way. dont complain that u feel alone. go tell someone nice (which would be a nice friend) how u feel and make that friendship stronger. isnt that how close friends are formed? u can find a good friend, but to have a great friend, u have to explore into the person, and to do that, u need to exchange information with the person. its quite logical. humans want something in return for another thing. socialising is the exchange of information.

p.s.: i preach too much...