Weary

something is not right within me.

though i realli do hate whining and complaining inside a blog, i realli must state it out here.



i used to go school practically everyday, just for fun, to meet my buddies in school. even though honestly nothing is planned out for the day, we still manage to have freakin loads of fun coming up with nonsense and crap. i mean c'mon. we are design people. we are screwed up in the head.



but now...realli, going to school seems like a chore.

seems like everytime they ask me if im going to school now, i just dont wanna go. admin stuff? camp appreciation?! dunno wtf tea ceremony? why do i feel like its all a big waste of time?

i want to go school to LEARN THINGS. school is a place of fun but honestly the essence is to learn and i have not been getting that at all.

probrably cos its week 1 and im ready for school but all i get is boring talks and lots of time wasted. even if my friends are there and we have fun, let me say, i somehow feel i am not having that much fun anymore. i tire of this.

its the same thing over and over. NOTHING NEW IS HAPPENING.

i want school to start.

and now PID is more seperated then ever.

though the groups are more defined now, they are more apart as well.

and as usual gossiping is rampant and unstoppable.

why do i feel like im a victim of it? i can sense it, all those small little things that make it clear. in the end its up to u to tag along the mass or be left astray.

which do u choose.

Void

recently i have begun experiencing a different kind of sorrow from that which i usually experience and embrace. (yes u read that right)

usually, the kind of sorrow i have is...when i feel somehow melancholic and sentimental, and i start thinking of all the things in my life and ponder. but not to the point of insanity or depression mind u. just some deep thinking. it does the soul some good.

but now...the kind of sorrow im feeling...

its just emptiness.

a void that cant be filled in idle or activity, it lingers and it stays and it never goes away.
it eats at the soul and it bites at my mind but nothing i do can leave it behind.
thought its not pain but i feel its weight like its pushing down upon my head.

thought im sure ive had this feeling before...it has been some time since i felt such boredom and void.

i remember, i used to have a phrase for it.

'a life without contemplation or meaning.'

but thankfully. school is starting.

meaning will come back soon.

DOC

its the day after DOC (Design Orientation Camp)

it was damn damn DAMN FREAKIN FUN!!!

i was a GL (Group Leader) in the camp and my sub-empire is called Blasa.

im glad i had the oppurtunity to meet so many freshies. all the crazy new psychos of design school.

i dont have much to say of the camp events cos i dont wanna elaborate. too damn tiresome.



what i would like to do however, its give certain awards to the freshies of my Sub-Empire.

Coolest Freshie Award
-Jo

definitely the coolest freshie in the group. dressed simplistically but yet with undeniable style, this freshie also has red stars tattooed on each of her back shoulders that stand out ALOT. always seen with her singapure black cap, she is for sure, the coolest freshie. WOO~~~



Craziest Freshie Award
-Froggy a.k.a Khairun

what is with this psycho?! she raves, she screams, SHES MAAAAAD. shes the freshie that went crazy during jam & hop (constantly pulling me to dance with her). dont let her image fool u. theres nothing much to say her cos after all, we all noe just who is the craziest without a doubt.



ok ok. actually i cant think of anymore awards...i was thinking of adding a 'Cutest Freshie Award' but then i couldnt realli decide if its Faith or Fiona. and also was thinking of Most Annoying Freshie Award. but uh...NVRM.

the 2 'awarded' freshies are my fav freshies thats why i gave them such awards. i like them cos they stand out and cos they have that kind of energy and liveliness.

but. when i say fav freshies, doesnt mean i like them most. just means they are the most interesting freshies,

cos i honestly think i like the guy freshies more. like ferooze (big is cool), hannan (AH HOW TO SPELL MY NAME?), the ever smiling and mature David, silent Daniel, Jacen the Ah Beng (The Guy With the Cap), the MOST ANNOYING freshie Daniel, and twisted Ah Bang.

as for the ladies...im sorry but i dont remember everyone of u! maybe cos there are too many girls already...SORRY.



love all u freshies and love all u fellow GL's.

we rocked.

FOC & Farewells

its the day after the end of FOC.

FOC was realli realli fun. fustrating at times, but nevertheless, it was fun throughout.

im glad i met so many new friends, like people from Program Committee, Food & Administration, and lastly, Logistics Committee. (all the sub-comm psychos)

i wont go through all the stuff that happened during the camp. though it was fun. realli fun.

cos this camp is also a camp of farewells for me.

cos i probrably wont see those new friends much at all anymore. those crazy bunch of psychos.



and another thing.

id like to express abit about my grandma.

she took care of me since birth till about some time last year, when she shifted residence to her son's home.

she cooked for me, fed me, washed my cloths, tucked me in at night when i was young.

im her most favoured and doted on among all her grandchildren, and she never stopped loving me all my life.

she passed away yesterday at the end of the camp.

its a true goodbye till my own time.



farewells.

FOW

im back from Fresh Orientation Workshop (FOW)

i am fucking tired.

good night.