Whirling

saturday, 10th sept.

went to east coast road for PComD project meeting. we got alot of work done...im satisfied.

sean paul (the year 1 fella) was also there.

after we finished the PComD meeting, dennis, sean and me went to orchard, because dennis wanted to take some pictures of his BaPho theme. i thought id just tag along, cos there was bound to be good pictures here and there.

sean was there to help dennis out.

but in the end, dennis didnt get the take his pics, and the 3 of us walked around and chilled out.

chilled out.

at starbucks.

its been a long time since ive chilled out like this...and not hold my thoughts back.

3 guys.

somehow i felt rather at ease, even though i never felt that close to any of them.

we talked about lots of stuff.

especially on the topic of affections.

and it realli got me thinking.

about past events, and just how our emotions work.

feelings that are just so simple, but yet so unexplicably mysterious and unpredictable.



it made me think how things changed.

that perhaps all i wanted was a fling from my relationship.

it made me feel like saying hi to abby, just to see how shes doing.

how i accepted a cynical nature.

and other random stuff.

there was just so much information to process and churn out.

it was a whirlpool of ideas.



when i went back to pasir ris, i didnt go home immediately.

instead, i wandered around my neighbourhood for an hr or so, taking random shots. the lighting was bad though. it was already 10.

listening to my mp3 and looking at the world through the viewscope of the camera which belongs to my ex, and having the thoughts of my life swirling in my head.

i felt like i was just a flickering flame, wandering in darkness.

snap snap snap. the shutter went.



i got home.



and i watched a movie.

the movie is,
I Am Sam.

i dunno if its supposed to feel like a sad movie

but somehow i realli realli felt sad when i was watching it.

and though the ending was a supposedly a happy one...i still felt like it was such a meloncholic movie.



and after the movie, i went online MSN. about 1am

and i feel irritated at myself.

cos i realised that i came online...just for 1 single person. realli. just for that.

it just feel stupid? cos theres nothing to LOOK for but yet i couldnt help it. i just did.

quite fustrating.