so. im posting a bit past midnight.

yesterday, abby came back. it was on my mind for awhile, especially in the morning.

i didnt think about it again till late at night.

and for some reason, i cant remember, i went to dictionary.com.

i simply couldnt remember why i went there.

but then i saw a 'word of the day' rite at the bottom of the screen

i decided to scroll down further and a take a look.

the word was 'lackadaisical'.

now for those of u who dont noe. thats one the word that abby likes. and she has that word in her msn nick all the time.

i was abit shocked and amazed.

rite on the day she came back. weird.

so anyways.

i cant wait for my pay. damn.

ah materialism is kicking in.

1. a new watch.
2. rendering markers.
3. cloths.

this will probrably blow all my earnings but hey i think those stuff are important.




for some reason theres something thats lingering at the back of mind.

its the feeling of slight dread...or something i somehow havent resolved yet.

a negative feeling thats abit bothersome.

i dont have much of an idea what it is...quite undefined.

lets see...here are some of the things i have concluded of whats bothering me.
in no particular order.

• schools starting and i feeling like works gonna be like hell again.
• i havent been communicating with my friends much and somehow i feel...bad.
• i shouldnt be thinking the way i should be and i just cant convince myself otherwise!
• i keep thinking my dad dislikes me playing games and so whenever i play, it gets me very uncomfortable and bothered.

i think those are the biggest things.

rite now, im thinking its a bit of all of them, not not much of the playing games part...

its all the little things...ha.




im talking to joel now. (my secondary school mate, not the prick in my current school)

one thing i love talking to him about.

SELF REALISATION.

he is constantly discovering new things about the way he thinks and opinions of other people.

he tells me his thoughts.

i find it immensely interesting.

not because he is JOEL but because he is someone who tells me how he feels about things and all. he is deep thinker thats different.

ordinary people who say they think deeply usually say that just to make people think they always think alot and are wise or wadever shit.

but my friend here doesnt do that. he simply thinks about things, and expresses his desire to find out the reason behind it, or simply share his thoughts so i might give insight.

to share ur thoughts with another friend, and discuss ideas and possiblities.

i truly do like that.

*note: i often do this alone as well with just me thinking of different possiblities and outcomes of things. i believe this is called hypothesising. my friend abby calls it assuming and dislikes it.*

*cough*



so...i think thats enough for today. i hope it stops raining in the day.