uneasy

uneasy

i just read her online diary...its kind of disturbing...

after reading my bros' (not my blood bro) and hers' online diary, i am getting a feeling that...there is something deeper to them...

i think that my bro actually develpoed some feelings for her...(well...something like that lah)...during the past few days, but seems like he forsook his feelings to study and not to hurt anyone...

and as for her...it seems she cant decide between the 2 of us cos we both have such concern for her...she even said that if one of us dont treat her well, she will go to the other one...that realli disturbed me...i can onli hope she is not serious or wasnt in her rite mind...

i am quite sure of these 'assumptions'...while some people may say its just assumptions...my so called assumptions are usually true...

i do not noe what to think of this event...on one side i feel that im glad my bro forsook his feelings but on the other hand...isnt me being this way kind of...selfish and posessive...i do not noe...

as for her...i have always felt that she simply cant decide on matters of the heart and that she falls for guys easily...i was even told by another bro to be wary of such a thing...in fact, i was aware of this all along...but...perhaps i tot it wouldnt be such a big deal

lol...in the end wadever i said may just be all speculation...oh well...

thoughts of a paranoid

p.s.: my heart is troubled but still intact. hope someone understands

*EDIT*

ok...i just talked to her...and i feel much better now...wadever i said pre to this edit doesnt apply to me anymore...lol...

anyways...i tot id update on more stuff lah...after all its like...boring writing such a short entry...

well ok...prelims are coming soon...and woo hoo...I AM READY FOR A.MATHS!!! BRING IT ON MS D. YONGSTER!!!

alriiiite...anyways...i havent studied for anything else other then A,maths so i am a little screwed indeed...the science practicals are coming soon and i dunno where the fuck is my chemistry lab notes...u noe the one which tells u what the results indicate...so i am a little worried

and i just read nurul's latest entry...she was talking about love...

well...love...to me love is the single greatest mystery...its like...the purpose of our lives are all about love...nurul said that she didnt realli feel love, not much even from family...but isnt there a love between friends? to me, how a person is depends on the love the parents give...up until one is totally independent of them. then friends come next when a person can think independently for oneself (for most people this is when one nears sec 1). friends are the secondary guide that moulds a person. then the 3rd is the sexual love...love between a male and a female (or otherwise...*AHEM*)...this sexual love however, cannot be predeicted as to when one feels it as everyone is different...of course, as im a religious person...i believe the love that nvr leaves us is God's love...but the love that affects us MOST is the love felt by other mortals (at least to me)...

love is so random and unpredictable...thats y us humans too are so...strange and wierd...all because of the love we recieve...in case any of u didnt noe, u are onli who u are now by mainly (1) the love u recieve and (2) EVERY SINGLE THING U SENSE and to a much lesser extent is (3) our genes from our parents...

i think ill blabber one more about this in my next entry...gtg now...

p.s.: embrace love and u too shall be embraced by it...

time at end of edit - 2042 hrs