Loneliness grips me.

This night I feel like I want her to haunt me again.

And yet the feeling hits that it will never happen that way again. Not in the same way I let it wash over me in the past.

It is that nostalgia, that reminder of the past that floated by like a whiff of perfume and bam! - the memories come back.

But I am stronger now.

This is the first time in a long time I really feel like telling someone "I will miss you" and yet not be able to say it.

Semesterstone

Am done with my first major milestone of my first year in Lasalle.

Finished with the summative feedback, where they grade each students progress throughout the first semester after looking through our project works and journaling.

Honestly, my course in Lasalle is a lot more 'chill' than my course in Temasek. I feel like I have so much more free time. Or maybe now it could be that I am just more efficient, with me being done with 3 years of design school and 2 years of army discipline.

So, I feel like I am really slack. But the grades I got were not bad.

I got a "Good" grade for my project works as well as for my Creative Process Journaling.

A "Good" grade is sort of the grade to say "you are doing pretty alright, maintain this. but there are ways you can improve yourself", while a grade lower (satisfactory) would be to say "okay you made it, but you are at the borderline". Why borderline? Because lower than satisfactory is the "Unsatisfactory" grade, which is literally labeled with fine print at the bottom with the words: "Redeemable fail".

I expected myself to get what I did. Because any lower and that would not be justice for the effort and quality of work I know I put in. Any higher, and that would be injustice for all the things I did not do or was too lazy to make it into an excellent piece of work.

The lecturers were fair, thorough, and they knew what the students were doing, and more importantly, trying to do with their work.

I appreciate how the lecturers do not look at just the end result. The process from start to finish is just as important, if not more so than just the finish, when it came to the grading. I cannot be entirely certain that they remember every students work but it definitely feels that way - that they follow and know their students work individually.

Now after grading, the task is to keep in mind their suggested ways of improving my work and look forward to the next semester of school.

I have no more classes till the 10th of January. That is about 2 months of holidays. I have not had such a long break ever since... Well, ever since I enlisted into the army! Really, I am not certain what I am doing to do for 2 months.

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Thank God for the skills and talents that he has gifted me. Let it be a constant reminder that without Him, I have nothing, and so I should be humble and never boast of these gifts.

Let it also be a constant reminder that my actions are accountable. I am a helper of my fellow man, and though I may be lacking or unaware at times, may I continue to improve myself and continue to assist and be a friend to those in need. Forgive me for the times where I did not do so, for the times I thought of just myself.

Once again, I thank God for all the things which have happened and are yet to happen, regardless of whatever awaits.