Stone

my heart has slowly been turned to stone.

and right now it feels like itll never go back.



but i dont know if i care.

Back to Basics

what the hell...

if im justified.

then why the fuck do i have to care?



i onli cared cos i was worried there would be further conflict.



but ya noe what.



i dont give a damn about that either.

sheesh.

Old Promise

can i still uphold that promise i made to myself so many years ago?

i am beginning to get doubtful of that.

i dont think i can uphold this sacrifice much longer.



the more i learn, the harder it gets.

TSAF

wow man.

the reply was petty fast this time.



and i thought it was over?!?



whos being sensitive?

whos the one who assumes about whether another is talking about someone?

are u telling me ur not guilty of that?



my previous post wasnt even insulting.

of course, unless typing slow backwards...


i THINK perhaps cos it seemed like i was trying to sound damn smart or something.



cmon laaaah. we both noe who we talking about right?

regardless of names or anything, u KNOW who u were refering to.

same for me yo.





if im not wrong.

the first post u wrote was on january.

i didnt realise till like febuary when LOTS of nonsense happened.

and originally i never even intended to write about u. (until u decided to strike again)

it was originally just about the general people cos of so much bullshit happening.

i didnt even noe WHO disliked me at the time.

and yet i noticed some kind of counter attack.



so being a typical moron, i struck back as well.





at least now i noe abit more of ur dislike.



i bet theres more though.

"the enemy of my enemy is my friend" non?




the entries have been amusing.

but its the same old thing.



at least someone approached me calmly to tell me my prob. thats nice of the person.

u noe who u are.



ive already told that person, i noe what my probs are.

and im gonna try and change them.

its not easy changing.

so itll take time.

but in the mean time, im not trying to be an ass, but u should change too.



like...if u had told me calmly what my prob was, that would have been a helluva lot better.

not that im in the position to JUDGE u.

its just some advice.



i hope u dont flame again cos of this.

cos that would be just sad.



and...wtf kinda trophy is THAT?!?!?!

0_O

WOLS

she sure took some time to find out/reply to me.

im SLIGHTLY disapointed though.

but at the same time, quite at ease over it.



btw. please dont kiss my ass. thanx.

Conflict

i think i like blog conflicts too much...

they excite me ya noe?!

i get that sense of adrenaline everytime i see that oppurtunity

seriously.

i find it damn fun

as long as its not about political stuff.



i think im pretty twisted.



but on the other hand, my better self is telling me not to be an idiot like them and just ignore them.

haiz.

Break

bashing in blogs.

what happened to the good old days of plain and civilised confrontations?



well, maybe thats what blogs are for.

didnt noe there was such a day for mushrooms though =)



thank goodness for the school break.



p.s.: hello pei huan XD

Chaos

Chaos

When the chaos hath come,
witness its wrath,
behold its nature,

for you shall so be struck by it,
that your knees will weaken,
and your resolve will shaken.

But with its passing,
be thankful of your survive,
for so attained you have,

the true nature of those,
filled with scorn,
filled with betrayal.

Learn from the chaos,
and it shall serve you,
to so never be fallen again.

-Victor Goh



let this be a message to the fallen survived.

My roots

it seems im particularly pissed this night.

mmm.



but its ok.

itll be over once the day is come and gone again.

cos by then, none of u will hear from me.

peace.

Diss-Like

just to make it clear.

i dislike noisy people.

i dont necessarily hate NOISE itself.

cos noise happens all the time. (esp in PID)



but people who constantly wanna produce noise pollution excessively...

its irritating lah.

so lemme be more specific.



I dislike it when people make noise for no good reason, too much, and at the wrong times.



ANOTHER THING

i realise theres so much of talking behind peoples backs.

(is it cos we are PID?)

ok. that is inevitable.

in fact, its part of human behaviour.



but i think.

people who take it too far.

with insults.

and unnecessary bullshit.

should try to tone it down.

and tolerate abit.



cos i realise...im becoming worse and worse as time goes by.

...it seems the people around me are the ones insulting alot as well.

perhaps im being influenced somehow...?



and...i do noe some people dislike me.

thats for sure.

but then from what ive experienced...it seems these people are just...morons as well.

sad fact.

Help Abuse

theres one thing i learnt during my sec school days.

dont help people too much.

ESPECIALLY those who ur not close with.



why?

because U WILL BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF.

that is always the case.



onli ur truly good friends will noe that u are not thier slave.

A TRUE FRIEND SHOULD RELY ON THEMSELVES FIRST, BEFORE SEEKING HELP WITH WORK.

that is the thing i wish to convey.



if u are one of those who always seek help.

then just ask what u need.

things like ADVICE. or maybe just abit of help.

if u cant do it, then make it up to the person.

"Forgetting one's debts is the greatest crime a person can commit."
- Simón Bolívar (1783-1830)



to all those who feel they have been used, or abused, by others for help,

just remember.

HELPING IS GOOD. u have been a good person. i respect all of u for that. those who dont are onli fools.



HELPING TOO MUCH IS HARMFUL.

helping people when they need it is good.

but did u noe.

when u assist people past where they need, U ARE HARMING YOURSELF AS WELL AS THEM.

by doing so, ur help will be harm instead.

because by helping them, u are making them weaker and more dependant.

onli help them to the point where they NEED.

anything more will cause harm.

if u refuse and they scorn at u, then let it be, because by doing so, u have helped them beyond thier understanding.

peace everyone.

Amiss

my torchlight project is finally done and over.

the critique was damn nerve wrecking.

today was actually pretty fun.



and yet, now, i feel like something is amiss.

something i cant quite put a finger on.

is it because its valentines tmrw?



i doubt it =)

i am twisted.

blood blood blood.

could i make a torchlight that runs on blood.

that would be sweet. and abit salty.

mmm.

with love, the cynic.

Essence

tonight is another on of those nights.



for those who dont noe, during certain nights, i feel an extreme sense of loneliness and sorrow out of no where.



well...im kinda used to it.

but it still affects me abit ya noe.

and sometimes i kinda like that feeling of sorrow.

theres substance in it thats different from fleeting happiness.

the essence of sorrow thats within me, i truly do appreciate it.



on a side note, saturday i had freakin high libido.

but today (sunday), its pretty damn low.

huge change. lol.



and on a more...irritable and desperate note.

FUCK TORCHLIGHTS!!! GAAAAH

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