Two men seek a great treasure.

Both go their own ways in seeking out what they desire, following what they feel is best in their hearts.

They end up in entirely different routes on their journey.

One ends up in the dessert.

The other finds himself in the vast ocean.

Who was on the right path and who was further away?

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As men are different, so too are their ways. As truth is definite, so too the paths leading to it.

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Is Truth definite?

Yes.

Is there a fixed Truth among man?

No, I do not believe so.

To be spiritual is an attempt to see the world in its intended reality. To see a perspective of this world which the eye alone cannot witness. Instead, the heart itself is used to feel, to see and to hear, and in doing so, to perceive a truth that goes beyond the surface.

To be lacking in the spirit would be to see the world in its reality, but only with the mind of logic and pure rationality, without the sense of "feeling". It reminds me of chasing after desires that have no lasting worth. A habit of those who seek to fill the void in their hearts with the things of this world.

To be over-spiritual... is to see what is in ones imagination, puffing it up, and proposing it as reality. The defining quality of over-spiritualism would be the exaggeration of the mind that seems to supersede the normal intended purpose of things. To make something appear to be more than it is.

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Those lacking in spirit are oft characterised as people who chase after objects of material value that have little worth in the afterlife. The types who seem to place integrity lower on the list. The types who use their bodies for their own devices. It has little to do with religion. Everything to do with principle.

Those who are over-spiritual are oft characterised as the religious who go through extra lengths to credit everything in their lives to something supernatural. They fail to see the world as it is and instead make of it what they imagine to be something much more grand. The danger here lies in the distortion of truth to suit their conceived notions.

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Are we guilty of being either?

Tis not to say that the world is simply mundane. In fact, it is so much in its ordinary state. No need for embellishments. It is beautiful simply because. Something that must be felt, not studied. Stand silent and behold.

Charcoal

I think it is clear to me now.

Why am I expecting an explosion when I know that's not what I'm looking for?

So let me tell you a story about my dear friend, Vacillate.

Vacillate was out, shopping for supplies for a BBQ later in the week.

He went to the charcoal section, and took a look at all the different grades of charcoal that were heaped in stacks in the corner of the not-so-super supermarket.

Vacillate noticed a peculiar thing. All these bloody worthless chunks of black rock (which legend has it came from burnt and compressed ancient wood) had different prices despite all of them being...well, chunks of black rock!!

Almost immediately however, Vacillate noticed something else. On one particular set of bags, the packaging had labels describing the efficiency and quick ignition of its fuel. And hey, they looked the best out of the lot. The packaging was eye-catching. It had the right combination of colours. And a good choice of font. Compared to the other bags of coal which were...trashy, crappy, old brown papered packaging that looked like it was designed during the Industrial Revolution. And let me tell you my friend, aesthetics plays a big part in product placement for the consumer (so true.)

Best of all? That outstandingly designed bag of charcoal was the cheapest. Yes, the cheapest! Vacillate couldn't believe it! And he was too stupid to ponder about it too.

So he bought the cheapest of them, since hey, why would chunks of black rock make a difference anyway? Only a moron (or worse, a rich man's son) would be stupid enough to buy the higher priced coal.

Thinking he had made a good deal from it, Vacillate was rather pleased with himself. Good job, moron.

*Fast forward to the actual BBQ*

Vacillate brought his bag of cheapo-yet-asthetically-pleasing bag of coal. He was ready for some serious barbecuing.

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Btw. Side track a bit. I know BBQ stand for barbecue. But the word barbecue doesn't have any Q in it. It's just because "cue" sounds like Q. I mean...seriously! I know it makes sense but yet it doesn't seem right! Does anyone get me here???

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*AHEM*

So, as I was saying, he was ready for some burninating of carcasses and various body parts of deceased animals into some delicious grub.

And as he wished, so he did! He started the fire excellently and all was well...

For an hour.

Then his fire started to die out. Ooookay, well no prob. He still had half a bag of fuel. Pour it on baby.

Then another hour, and again it died out. Dang. He was running out of fuel!

Cut the long story short (and because I am getting tired, its already 2.15am) the BBQ got a whole lot shittier because of the standard of the coal.

So what happened? Let me break it down for you.

Vacillate had been deceived by fancy packaging. The price should have been a telltale sign but he was too distracted by the aesthetics to discern. The cheap-and-attractive bag of coal burned strong and passionately, but it had no stamina to maintain itself. It turns out, the other bags of coal required more investments for a good reason. Good coal takes a longer time to ignite, but it is made to last. The packaging may look crappy, but like many things that stand the test of time, they don't rely on looks because inner quality shines without trying. And Vacillate had to learn his lesson the hard way.

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So.

How many times have you been let down by a fire that you thought would have lasted, but failed epically?

I know it's happened to me lots of times.

And looking back, it seems obvious, if I would have only discerned and not rushed into things.

What I am looking for, is not an explosive burst.

What I would like, is a perseverant ember.

One that won't die on me simply because its nature is not meant to last.

One that I won't regret putting effort into.

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How do you know then, if the choice you made is right?

You have to try it.

See whats good for you.

And learn from it each time.

I don't know what I want from this.

I don't even know what I really feel.

But I do know that something compels me. And I obey.

Constantly I ask myself if what I am doing is right.

Is it in line with God's will?

Am I acting blindly without considerations?

I don't really know.

What I do know however, is my prayer has been answered.

And whatever is the outcome from it, I will praise God.

And trust in him.

That I would be sincere, and open, and BRAVE (without the stupidity).

How are you?!

"EY VIC! Long time! How are you?!"

*faint smile* "Uh...not sure really"

"HAHAHA what kind of answer is that???"

"Well im not sure how i feel so, im not sure"

"Err dude...chill leh hahaha, just a question!"

"Well then whats the point if I give a typical answer??"

"Eh...okay lah riiight"

"Uh huh...missed you guys alot"

" Oh thanx"
*pat on the shoulder*

*silence*

Sunshine

I am already 20.

Going to 21 soon. (hint hint people, hehe!)

I was thinking to myself: should I really still be typing out such "emo" and weepy entries and publishing it as and when I feel down?

I am already passed by teens, that kind of thing, to me has always been what punk ass teens do. And yet actually, I am no better then that.

No doubt age is a number that should not define me, I still cannot help but feel I ought to "grow up".

I guess its inevitable for someone like me who puts much importance on my emotions, but its unbalanced. I often just write rather dark entries, and it is all leaning to one side. Its all really quite dreary and I can feel it.


This place needs a little more sunshine hmm.


And lastly.

Don't forget my birthday!

XD

Man of extinction

What does it mean to be a man in this day and age?



Sometimes I ponder upon this and really it feels like us men are no longer what we used to be.



Is chivalry truly dead in this world? (As goes the same for old feminine ways.)



Perhaps there are still remnants of these lingering, but woefully so.

That which binds and yet strengthens.

I have chains that are restraining me. These chains are what hold me back.

But at the same time, they give me strength. Strength that would otherwise be missing in my life.


Do you know what chains these are?

The Sky

I never knew the beauty of the sky, till I suffered under it.

For some strange reason the sky always looks so beautiful when I am in camp.

Dear God.

Dear God, let my actions be directed by You. Let me be an intrument of Your love and grace.

Remind me what is real love and what is fleeting attraction. Never let me confuse the two.

Show me how to love others as You have loved me.

Help me remember that it is Your love I should seek.


Make me genuine. Make me loving. Make me wise.

Let me not be a fool to my emotions, instead, for my mind to be clear as the morning sun.

Let not the darkness of the night influence me, and keep my thoughts far from sorrow.


For everything not within my control, give me the wisdom to trust in You.

For anything my mind is muddled with, give me the clarity to discern.

For every hardship faced, give me the strength to endure.


Lord I ask these things of You for I know You are a God of greatness. In Your power and might all things are possible.

I humbly seek you for I know I am weak and foolish. Help me your servant to overcome my failings with Your Spirit.

Guide me through and show me the right path.


This I pray to You, Lord God Almighty.

Amen.

The Developed Phobia

What matters to me now is not whom I may have feelings for.

What matters to me now is that I am fearful of having such feelings.

I am afraid of loving, of showing my affections to others. I fear for what may happen and I fear for what I may lose.

And most of all, I fear my love is distorted, that it is only superficial.

-

It truly is odd, how I crave for love even though I do not dare to love.

It truly is odd, how I ask for love when I know God already loves me dearly. How I ask for having somebody in my life when I ought to know that loving God should be enough.

Sometimes I just feel like I ought to be celibate. Without a partner in my life, just serving God till the end of my days. But I know I am simply running away from my fear.


And that changes everything.

Aspirations

As I am now done with school and currently waiting for my enlistment letter, I have been hearing many of my friends discussing with me their plans for the future.

But each time that happens, I find myself rather uninterested and disconnected with their ideas and plans for themselves.

Is getting a Degree in a well known university and getting a high paying job all there is to life after school?

What has happened to youthful aspirations and goals and dreams? Or is it that, perhaps living comfortably with money is all that is really important?

Living comfortably is, of course, of prime importance in each living organisms life, but as humans, we are able to transcend this basic instinct of comfortability.

I can only say for sure that, people need more in their lives then just physical things.

I am quite sure my friends will be aware of this later in their lives...

I just sorta wish that they would realise sooner.